115+ ATM and Bank Jokes That Won’t Leave You Short on Laughs

Who doesn’t love a good laugh, eh? Banks and ATMs are such a big part of our daily lives that it only makes sense to poke fun at them. From standing in line at the bank to waiting for that ATM to spit out some cash, there’s a lot to laugh about.

115+ of the funniest jokes about ATMs and banks are on this list. You can share them with family, friends, or coworkers because they’re short and easy to remember. Read on for a complete collection of funny jokes, puns, and one-liners!

The Funniest Bank and ATM Jokes

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Let’s start with some of the funniest ATM and bank jokes around. Whether you’re looking for a quick laugh or something to share with friends, these jokes will cash in on some serious giggles.

1. Why did the bank teller break up with the ATM? It wasn’t adding up!
2. I tried to make a withdrawal at an ATM, but it said, “Sorry, you’re out of balance!”
3. Why do banks have branches? Because they need room to grow!
4. My bank balance is like an onion: It makes me cry.
5. Did you hear about the ATM that went to therapy? It had withdrawal symptoms.
6. The ATM refused to give me cash—it said I was emotionally overdrawn!
7. Why did the ATM go to the beach? To withdraw some sun!
8. I asked the ATM for some cash, and it printed out a picture of my sad face.
9. Why did the bank install an elevator? Because they wanted to raise interest.
10. I love using the ATM—until it starts making fun of my balance.
11. My ATM card is like a boomerang—it leaves, but never brings back what I need.
12. What do you call an ATM that sings? A money-oke machine!
13. The ATM said I have insufficient funds. I told it, “You didn’t have to say it so loudly!”
14. I asked the ATM for cash, and it laughed. Apparently, my request was too funny.
15. Why do banks love jokes? Because they always have a good return!
16. My bank balance and I have an understanding: We both avoid each other.
17. What did the ATM say to the impatient customer? “Please wait… you’re not the only one who’s broke!”
18. I went to the ATM to withdraw money—it gave me a receipt for life advice.
19. Why don’t ATMs tell jokes? Because they’re afraid of overdrafting on humor.
20. The ATM told me I was rich… in spirit. Still broke, though!

Classic Bank & ATM Jokes That Always Deliver

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Banks might be serious places, but that doesn’t mean you can’t crack a smile. Here are some classic bank jokes that always seem to deliver.

21. Why did the bank robber go broke? He lost interest!
22. I went to the bank yesterday and asked the teller for a balance check. She pushed me over!
23. Why did the dollar break up with the coin? It found someone with more cents.
24. I asked the bank for a loan, but they said my credit score was too low to even be a pun-chline.
25. What’s a banker’s favourite vegetable? Lettuce—because it’s loaded!
26. Why do bank employees make great comedians? They’re great with accounts.
27. I told my banker I wanted to save money, and they handed me a piggy bank.
28. I asked my bank why they denied my loan. They said, “We can’t loan you a sense of humor.”
29. The banker told me my savings account was healthy. I said, “Too bad my wallet isn’t!”
30. What’s the best way to rob a bank? Distract them with bad jokes.
31. Why don’t bankers ever get bored? They’re always counting on something.
32. I told my banker I needed a break—so they broke my savings.
33. Why don’t banks ever get tired? They’re always earning interest.
34. The bank manager said I should invest in stocks, so I bought some chicken stock.
35. Why did the banker go broke? He lost his balance.
36. What did the bank say to the customer who forgot their PIN? “Try again, Sherlock!”
37. Why are banks always so secure? Because they have a lot of vault in themselves!
38. I asked the bank if they could lend me some happiness. They said, “We don’t do emotions.”
39. Why don’t banks use social media? Because they can’t handle all the withdrawals.
40. The bank teller asked me if I wanted a receipt. I said, “Sure, print out my hopes and dreams while you’re at it.”

ATM Puns That Will Make You Withdraw Laughter

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Now let’s talk ATM puns. If you enjoy clever wordplay, this section is for you! These puns will have you smiling from ear to ear.

41. I took my dog to the ATM, but I guess he prefers cash-iew nuts.
42. What do you call a lazy ATM? An IOU machine.
43. I asked the ATM for a joke, and it just gave me a change of subject.
44. I tried to withdraw some humour from an ATM, but I got too many lines.
45. Why don’t ATMs argue? They’re great at resolving withdrawal issues.
46. The ATM told me to stop pushing its buttons—it’s tired of my balance complaints.
47. What do you call an ATM that tells jokes? A cash comedian!
48. I went to the ATM to make a deposit. It said, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
49. Why did the ATM take a vacation? It was running low on interest.
50. I asked the ATM for advice, but it gave me a penny for my thoughts.
51. The ATM doesn’t like my sense of humour—it says I’m overdrawn on laughs.
52. Why don’t ATMs go on dates? They’re too busy working overtime.
53. I tried to get cash from the ATM, but it said, “Nice try!”
54. The ATM told me to take a hike—apparently, I’m spending too much.
55. I asked the ATM if it wanted a break. It said, “Only if you stop asking for money.”
56. The ATM and I are good friends—it keeps my secrets and my money.
57. Why did the ATM get promoted? It always knows how to balance work and fun.
58. My ATM card and I are having a falling out—it keeps rejecting my advances.
59. The ATM refused to talk to me after I checked my balance. It’s giving me the silent treatment.
60. Why do ATMs never tell lies? Because they only deal in the truth of your bank account.

One-Liners: Quick Bank Jokes That Cash In

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Sometimes, a good joke is all about getting straight to the punchline. Here are some quick one-liners that you can share anytime, anywhere.

61. The ATM told me to enjoy my day. Now I’m rich in spirit!
62. Why did the coin go to therapy? It couldn’t make cents of its feelings.
63. I told my ATM I needed some money—it gave me a check-up.
64. What did one ATM say to the other? “Don’t take everything so personally.”
65. Why don’t banks have to worry about their finances? They’ve always got good interest.
66. The ATM rejected my card, so I rejected reality.
67. Why did the ATM get cold? It lost its cash flow.
68. I told my banker I wanted to save money. They said, “Good luck with that.”
69. What’s a banker’s favourite place to go? The vault-ercation!
70. I tried to open a savings account, but it just laughed at me.
71. My wallet and I are no longer on speaking terms.
72. Why don’t banks tell secrets? They’re too good at keeping deposits.
73. The ATM asked if I wanted to withdraw from my savings account. I said, “What savings?”
74. I put my card in the ATM, and it gave me a blank stare.
75. Why don’t banks use puns? They’re afraid of overdrafting on humor.
76. I asked the bank for some change—they gave me life advice instead.
77. The ATM asked me if I was sure I wanted to make a withdrawal. I said, “I’m sure I don’t want to.”
78. Why don’t bank accounts ever tell jokes? Because they’re too serious about saving.
79. My wallet is like a boomerang—it keeps coming back empty.
80. The ATM told me to stop pressing its buttons. I said, “That’s your job!”

ATM and Bank Jokes for Kids

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Who says bank jokes are only for adults? These kid-friendly jokes are perfect for younger readers.

81. Why did the coin go to school? It wanted to be a little change!
82. Why don’t ATMs ever get into fights? They’re too good at handling withdrawals!
83. What’s a bank’s favourite type of fish? A loan shark!
84. Why did the banker bring a ladder to the meeting? To climb the corporate ladder!
85. Why do fish never use ATMs? Because they’re already swimming in money!
86. Why did the ATM break up with the calculator? It was too calculating.
87. Why don’t banks have recess? They never take a break from saving!
88. What do you call a piggy bank that tells jokes? A ham-bassador!
89. Why did the coin get a job? It wanted to make cents!
90. Why was the ATM so good at sports? It always made quick withdrawals!
91. What’s a banker’s favourite dessert? A capital gain-cake!
92. Why did the ATM become a teacher? Because it’s great at handling change.
93. Why don’t ATMs make good friends? They’re too busy counting.
94. What did the ATM say to the confused customer? “Please don’t check out on me!”
95. What’s a bank’s favourite game? Monopoly—because it’s all about the money!
96. Why do ATMs never tell jokes? They’re too serious about counting cash!
97. Why did the bank robber bring a pencil to the robbery? To draw interest!
98. What did the ATM say when it got stuck? “Help, I’m out of cash!”
99. Why did the ATM always win at board games? It’s great at counting moves!
100. Why did the dollar cross the road? To make some change on the other side!

ATM and Bank Puns for Wordplay Lovers

If you love wordplay, you’ll enjoy this next batch of bank and ATM puns. Perfect for anyone who appreciates a clever joke.

101. I asked the ATM why it’s always so busy—it said, “Because I’m loaded!”
102. I went to deposit a joke at the bank, but they said it didn’t have enough interest.
103. My bank account is like a game of hide and seek: It’s always disappearing!
104. The ATM gave me a look—turns out I overdrafted on my humour account.
105. Why did the ATM break up with its bank card? It couldn’t take the pressure anymore!
106. The bank offered me a loan, but I told them I was out of interest.
107. Why did the ATM feel under the weather? It was low on currency!
108. I went to the ATM to withdraw some sense of humor, but I overdrafted.
109. Why don’t ATMs go on vacation? They’re too busy managing deposits.
110. I asked the ATM why it’s always so serious—it said, “Because I’m dealing with your money!”
111. My ATM told me to take a break from spending. I told it, “I wish I could.”
112. Why don’t ATMs do stand-up comedy? They’re too busy standing still!
113. I tried telling the ATM a joke, but it said, “I’m out of interest.”
114. What’s an ATM’s favorite exercise? Running numbers!
115. The ATM and I had a falling out—it keeps refusing my requests for more cash.
116. Why did the ATM apply for a new job? It wanted to branch out.
117. What do you call a bank that tells jokes? A comic deposit box!
118. The ATM told me it’s tired of my spending habits—I told it, “Join the club.”
119. Why did the ATM join a book club? It wanted to learn how to deposit knowledge.
120. My bank account and I have something in common: We’re both low on funds!

History of ATM and Bank Jokes: Why They Work

Have you ever considered why jokes about ATMs and banks are so common? The amount of money you possess and how important cash is in your daily life. We’ve all had a funny or annoying experience with a bank or ATM, so these jokes are remarkably genuine.

It’s because banks are usually thought of as serious places that jokes about them are so funny. From the development of early banking systems to the popularity of modern ATMs, jokes about banks have grown along with the technology we use.

Also, money is one of those topics that everyone can talk about. For that reason, it’s a great topic to make fun of without offending anyone.

Why Laughter is the Best Investment: The Importance of Humour

“Laughter is the best medicine” is a saying that everyone knows and absolutely supports. When people share jokes, they laugh together. The jokes can be about ATMs, banks, or anything else. It allows us to detach from the serious aspects of life and appreciate the enjoyment of the lighter side.

On top of that, humour is good for your soul. Laughing lowers stress, lifts your mood, and can even make relationships stronger. It can also be stressful to talk about money. Laughing makes the conversation a lot easier to handle.

So, remember these ATM and bank jokes the next time you’re stressed about money or just want to laugh. They’ll help you stay in a good mood.

And there you have it—115 ATM and bank jokes that won’t leave you short on laughs. Whether you’re looking to brighten someone’s day or just need a chuckle yourself, these jokes are the perfect way to lighten the mood. Be sure to share them with your friends, family, and co-workers to keep the laughter going!

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