147 Dark Humor Jokes You Shouldn’t Laugh At But Will

Sometimes, life gets tough, and we all need a good laugh—even if it’s a bit dark. Dark humor jokes tackle tricky topics like death and sadness, but they can still make us smile when nothing else works. They’re not for everyone, but if you enjoy edgy jokes, they can be a real mood booster.

These jokes are best shared with friends who get your sense of humor. It’s not a good idea to tell them at work or around new people, but with the right crowd, they can be hilarious. Sharing dark humor is always a bit of a gamble, but sometimes it’s worth it!

If you’re a fan of this kind of humor, you’re in luck. We’ve put together 147 dark humor jokes that will make you laugh, cringe, and maybe even question your sense of humor all at once.

Main Points

• Dark humor jokes often push the boundaries of what’s socially acceptable, but that’s what makes them irresistibly funny.
• They provide a way to laugh at life’s toughest and most uncomfortable moments.
• It’s important to remember that dark humor isn’t for everyone. If you’re easily offended, this might not be the place for you!

Related Post:200 Cute and Funny Nicknames That Will Make Your Best Friend Laugh

General Dark Humor Jokes

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Dark humor thrives on the unexpected. These jokes take ordinary situations and twist them into something darker.

1. Why don’t graveyards ever get overcrowded? People are dying to get in.
2. I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
3. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
4. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
5. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
6. I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines. He’s a Singer-songwriter, or sew it seems.
7. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
8. My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back.
9. I threw my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
10. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
11. My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
12. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be called bagels.
13. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
14. My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.
15. People say love is the best feeling, but I think they’ve never had a good bowel movement.

Death and Mortality Dark Humor Jokes

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Laughing in the face of death is a classic element of dark humor.

16. My grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “No, your generation relies too much on life support.”
17. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming like the passengers in his car.
18. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on the list.
19. Why don’t dead people make good comedians? They don’t stand up very well.
20. My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.
21. I told my wife she was overreacting. She said, “If I’m overreacting, why are all the knives missing?”
22. What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
23. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. She said, “Somewhere I’ve never been before.” I told her, “How about the kitchen?”
24. My doctor said I have high blood pressure and a caffeine addiction. So now I have to find a doctor with lower standards.
25. The cemetery is the dead center of town.

Offensive Dark Humor Jokes

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These dark jokes push the boundaries and may not be for everyone. If you’re easily offended, skip ahead.

26. What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
27. Dark humor is like food—not everyone gets it.
28. Why don’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
29. My grief counselor died the other day. He was so good at his job, I don’t even care.
30. Why can’t orphans play poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
31. What’s the best part about being a necrophiliac? You’ll never be alone again.
32. I wanted to be a suicide bomber, but I blew my chance.
33. I once dated a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
34. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35. The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
36. I told my wife she was crazy. She said, “I’m not crazy, the voices told me I’m not!”
37. I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying—it seemed very important to him that I have it.
38. What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.
39. A guy walks into a bar. Which is unfortunate, because it was an iron bar.
40. I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

Family Dark Humor Jokes

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Even family life isn’t safe from dark humor.

41. My parents raised me as an only child. It really annoyed my brother.
42. I gave my dad a broken drum for his birthday. You can’t beat that gift.
43. Why do parents always think their kids are special? Every kid is an accident.
44. My family told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
45. Dad, can you explain what a solar eclipse is? No sun.
46. My son asked me where poop comes from. I was not prepared for that conversation at 4 AM.
47. I asked my mother-in-law if she could lend me her wedding dress. She said yes, but it’s in the museum now.
48. My dad left when I was born. I guess the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
49. Why don’t kids play hide and seek with their dad? Because good luck finding him.
50. My parents said, “You should do what makes you happy.” So I started laughing uncontrollably.

Society and Humanity Dark Jokes

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These jokes poke fun at society and human nature.

51. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
52. I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.
53. What’s worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm.
54. Why don’t psychopaths play chess? They always take things too far.
55. Society is like a joke, but I’m not sure who the punchline is.
56. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Bob.
57. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be called bagels.
58. If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
59. I have no idea what I’m doing with my life, but it seems to be working out.
60. My IQ test results came back negative.

Dark Humor Jokes in the Workplace

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Even the office isn’t safe from dark humor.

61. I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
62. My boss wanted me to start my presentation with a joke. I used my paycheck.
63. Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?
64. I told my boss that three people quit today. She looked at me and said, “That’s great! Now it’s just us two.”
65. If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
66. The worst part about working at a suicide hotline is that everyone else seems to be getting more calls than you.
67. My therapist told me I’m afraid of commitment. I said, “I’ll see you next week… probably.”
68. I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.
69. I told my coworkers I have a split personality. They both laughed.
70. My resume is just a list of things I’m bad at, but somehow I still get jobs.

Death and Dying Dark Jokes

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More death-related humor for those with a morbid sense of humor.

71. What’s the best way to make someone remember you? Forget to pay them back.
72. I can’t die doing laundry because it would be too embarrassing.
73. I’m not afraid of death—I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
74. Why don’t grave robbers make good friends? They always dig up the past.
75. How do you tell someone their whole family died? You don’t—you let them find out at the funeral.
76. Why don’t murderers make good magicians? They’re terrible at hiding bodies.
77. I tried being a grave digger, but it didn’t pan out. Too much digging.
78. My favorite game is hide and seek, but with death. I just hope he’s bad at it.
79. I met death at a bar once. He told me to drink up—it’s on the house.
80. I’m trying to live every day like it’s my last. That’s why I never do laundry.
81. They say death comes in threes. I’m still waiting for my two friends to catch up.
82. I went to a therapist because of my fear of dying. He told me, “Don’t worry, you’ll get over it.”
83. I asked my wife to marry me at a funeral. It felt appropriate to tie the knot where people were already feeling dead inside.
84. I want my tombstone to read, “Told you I was sick.”
85. Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits.
86. My biggest fear is dying alone. Not because it’s sad, but because it means no one will hear me brag about it.
87. I hope death has Wi-Fi because I’m bringing my phone to the afterlife.
88. I told my boss I’m afraid of dying. He said, “Don’t worry, you’re dead to me already.”
89. Death is just nature’s way of telling you to slow down.
90. I told my doctor I didn’t want to live anymore. He gave me a bill and said, “You might not have a choice.”
91. Why did the Grim Reaper take up photography? He wanted to capture souls.
92. If I die, I want to go out like my grandpa—peacefully in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the people in his car.
93. Why do graveyards have fences? Because people are dying to get in.
94. What’s the last thing that goes through a fly’s mind when it hits the windshield? Its butt.
95. I want my funeral to be a surprise party. Everyone thinks they’re coming for a birthday, but surprise—I’m dead.
96. My obituary will just be a to-do list with “died” checked off.
97. When I die, I hope people remember me for my dark humor, not for all the bodies in my basement.
98. I asked the Grim Reaper if I could finish my drink before going. He said, “Take your time. I’ll wait.”
99. I told my friends I wanted a Viking funeral. But knowing them, they’ll just set my body on fire and hope for the best.
100. When I die, I want to be cremated. It’s my last chance to have a smoking hot body.

Self-Deprecating Dark Jokes

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101. My life is like a constant loop of bad decisions and dark humor.
102. Every morning, I wake up and think, “Wow, I can’t believe I’m still alive.”
103. I’m not suicidal, I just really don’t care what happens next.
104. My personality is 90% bad decisions and 10% dark jokes.
105. I bought a weight loss tape. It’s just me screaming at myself to stop eating.
106. I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode.
107. Every time someone says, “Life is short,” I just reply, “Not short enough.”
108. My New Year’s resolution is to stay alive. So far, so good.
109. I finally made it to the top of the hill—just to realize there’s nothing up here.
110. I don’t have a bucket list. I have a “f*** it” list.
111. The older I get, the more I realize my only real talent is playing dead inside.
112. I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
113. I feel like I’ve aged 50 years since this morning.
114. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Then I cry.
115. I wanted to be a minimalist, but then I realized that would take effort.
116. My bank account and my self-esteem are both overdrawn.
117. I tried to be a ray of sunshine, but people just wanted me to go away.
118. I’d love to be an optimist, but that sounds exhausting.
119. My therapist said I’m too self-deprecating. I told her she’s just trying to make me feel better about myself.
120. If I had a dollar for every bad decision I’ve made, I could afford to make more bad decisions.

Relationships and Marriage Dark Jokes

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121. My wife asked me if I could stop trying to scare her. I said, “I’ve been trying for years.”
122. Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you just want a club and a spade.
123. My wife told me she needed more space, so I locked her outside.
124. My girlfriend told me I need to grow up. I told her, “Get out of my fort.”
125. I asked my wife if she wanted breakfast in bed. She said, “No, I want a divorce.” Same thing, really.
126. Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.
127. Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.
128. I told my wife I’d love her until death do us part. She said, “That’s not long enough.”
129. My wife and I have agreed never to go to bed angry. We stay up and fight.
130. The secret to a long marriage? Don’t talk to each other.
131. My husband is my rock—he sits there and does nothing.
132. My ex told me she’ll dance on my grave. Good luck with that—I’m getting cremated.
133. I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She said, “I want a divorce.” I said, “I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”
134. My girlfriend told me she was seeing someone else. I told her, “At least you’re getting out more than I am.”
135. Why did the husband bring a pillow to court? To make the divorce more comfortable.
136. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
137. My wife said she’s leaving me because of my obsession with football. I told her, “That’s fine, just leave during halftime.”

Society, Politics, and Humanity Dark Humor Jokes

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138. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
139. The human race is like a relay race… except we’re dropping the baton every single time.
140. I’m not saying the world’s getting worse, but it’s definitely taking a nosedive.
141. The world is full of idiots, but at least they keep me entertained.
142. Society is like a joke, but I’m not sure who the punchline is.
143. Why don’t more people vote? Because no matter who wins, we lose.
144. The problem with democracy is that stupid people can vote. The problem with dictatorships is that only stupid people get to lead.
145. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
146. I told my friend I’m afraid of global warming. He said, “It’s fine, we won’t be around long enough to see it.”
147. Humanity is like a bad movie with no plot, terrible acting, and no resolution.

Why Dark Humor is Popular

So, why do we laugh at these dark humor jokes?

Psychologically, dark humor serves as a coping mechanism. It allows us to address uncomfortable topics like death, tragedy, and suffering in a way that’s more approachable—through laughter.

Research from Psychology Today suggests that people with a high appreciation for dark humor may have higher intelligence. They tend to use it as a tool for emotional resilience, deflecting stress, anxiety, and fear with humor.

Dark Humor in Pop Culture

Dark humor isn’t just something we see in everyday life—it’s everywhere in pop culture too. From TV shows to movies and stand-up comedy, dark humor has been a staple in entertainment for years.

Examples:

• South Park and Family Guy are infamous for their risky, dark humor.
• Comedians like Ricky Gervais and Bill Burr are known for pushing the boundaries in their stand-up.
• Movies like Pulp Fiction and Dr. Strangelove expertly weave dark humor into their narratives.

FAQs About Dark Humor

Wrapping Up

Dark humor jokes isn’t for everyone, but for those who appreciate it, it offers a way to laugh at life’s most difficult moments. From death to family to society’s flaws, dark humor doesn’t shy away from anything—and that’s exactly what makes it so appealing.

Just remember, humor is subjective. If these dark jokes made you laugh, don’t feel too guilty—it’s all in good fun!

Related External Links

1. Dark Humor Explained: What Is It and Why Do We Laugh?
2. The Psychology Behind Dark Humor
3. Top 20 Best Dark Comedies of All Time